Most people define personal fashion as something you, an individual, can define for yourself. It’s how you choose to dress, and it’s based on your whims and desires.

But is it? Or do you just pick out what is available to you instead of what you want? And how much do ads and online influencers affect what you’re putting in your closet?

For example, I used to stay in the realm of neutrals, because I was reading a lot of minimalism blogs. But after following a few colorful dressers, I started to gravitate towards the same styles I loved as a teenager.

That doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of how ads have influenced me. There are studies that show that ads, and the fashions in them, aren’t attention getters. The best ads work overtime, with a lot of covert exposure. How many times have you seen an ad and immediately clicked on it? How many times have you seen an ad several times before you click on it? For me, I drop the most money on ads that I see over and over again.

So what part of my personal style is mine? How much of your style is actually yours?

The answer isn’t black and white. It’s a sliding scale, and we’re all on it. That’s how creativity works: our styles are the sum of outside influences and our own takes on those ideas. But if your style seems more influenced by everyone but yourself, it helps to have something personal to come back to. A touchstone, if you will.

This fashion touchstone is what I call the Hero Look. It’s an outfit, or a series of items that create a look, that make me feel my best. No matter how my style has evolved, my Hero Looks have remained consistent throughout.

Finding your own Hero Look won’t come immediately. But with enough information, cleverness, and a little bit of fashion magic, you can find your Hero Look, and use it for the rest of your life.

Personal Fashion 101: How to Find Your Hero Look

Finding a Hero Look is not like waving your hands, et voila, your style problems are solved. Lucky for us, though, it’s also not rocket science.

Discovering your perfect Hero Look involves self-awareness, investigation, and patience. If you’re anything like me, halfway through your closet purge you’ll be ready to toss everything in the bin.

It’s best to have patience with yourself, especially when it comes to body image. During your investigation, you’re going to see some great clothes on impossibly beautiful people. You’ll feel like you don’t measure up, but it’s okay. This is about what makes you feel amazing, so take your time and BE KIND to yourself. Please.

Hero Look Fashion Hunt

During our investigation, there are three key places to get started.

Work with What You Have

Right now I want you to go through your closet and pick out your favorite piece. It can be a special occasion dress, a pair of comfy pants, anything that you love to wear. If you can, pick out a few different things. This can help you find a stronger pattern.

Now that you have your things, ask yourself “Why do I love these?” Are they broken into perfection? Are they your favorite color? Do they show off your body in a way you love?

Write these things down, because these are the style values you hold right now. Not when you were younger, not if you lose weight, but here in the life you currently live.

Seek Out Inspiration

Right about now is when most fashion advisors ask you to pull together clothing styles you like from magazines or stores. The problem I’ve always had with that is that clothing styles change all the time. Until 2020 slowed us down (a little), we were working off a month-long style cycle (if that). That’s a lot of change when you’re trying to nail down one effortless Hero Look.

That’s why I gravitated towards costumes as a kid. I looked at characters I loved, saw that they already had a set style, and rolled with that. Plus, it made me feel more like the characters in my favorite movies, and what nerd doesn’t want that?

So instead of looking towards magazines and celebrities, I want you to pick out your favorite shows, characters, and movies. Pick out three to five examples, and write down a few things:

• What’s the date this was made? For historical movies, what date are they trying to emulate?
• How would you describe this style?
• How you feel when you’re watching them: are you inspired? Do you feel envious? Longing? Comfort?
• Ask yourself the hard questions: do I like this style because of how it looks on the actor? Would I like it less if they had different hair or makeup?

These are the aspirational building blocks of a Hero Look. They’re not only important but my favorite part. But we’re not 100% there yet, so let’s move on.

Think About What Works for You

Now you should have a list of the style values you have, plus a whole list of great inspirations to choose from. This is where things get a little more tricky, and where you need to be extra kind with yourself.

First, take that list of inspiration and ask yourself the hard questions:

• Would I still like this outfit if the actor had different hair or makeup?
• Do I like this style because of how it looks on the actor?
• Could I wear this exact style without changing anything about my body? (remember, clothes can and should change to work with your body, not the other way around)
• If not, what can I change to make myself more comfortable? Do I need to look for clothes that have a different fit or cut? Would I like a different fabric? What can I do to dress my assets instead of hiding my flaws?

Second, take that list of style values and think about how it fits your current life. Do you value comfort because you’re on your feet all day? Would you love to wear dangly earrings, but you work with kids or animals who could rip them out (yeesh)? Do you need clothes that are stylish and easy to move in? Do you have a dress code to meet?

Use your style values to narrow down what could work from your list of inspirations. For example, I love the Birds of Prey costumes, but y’all, I cannot wear club clothes all the time! I live on a farm for goodness sake. Buuuut I can wear my favorite rain boots that have rhinestones in the stitches. That keeps my feet dry and satisfies my desire for bling.

Work That Fashion Magic

By now, you should have at least a general idea of what you’re going for. The next step is to start gathering your items (unless, of course, you already own them!)

Researching Fashion Keywords

Not sure what to look for? Use Pinterest as a jumping-off point. Pinterest is a unique search engine that uses both keywords and pictures as a way of finding what you need. I often use Pinterest to find keywords I can plug into Google or, more frequently, Etsy.

For example, I am a sucker for a bishop sleeve. The large, billowing sleeve is dramatic enough to satisfy my need for flair, while often understated enough to stay professional. But no matter how often I searched for “bishop sleeves,” I wasn’t finding what I wanted. After doing some poking around on Pinterest, I found the much broader term “poet blouse.” I searched for plus-sized poet blouses on Etsy and Bipipi-bobity-done I found my shirt.

The Totem

In wear glasses to make himself feel more authoritative during speeches.

I bring this up because a Hero Look doesn’t have to be a whole outfit, although I think the effect is better when it is. Sometimes it can come down to one special item, or Totem, to make you feel spectacular.

Mine are my gold cowboy boots and my dangling earrings. I also have a belt with a gold snake clasp that is quickly becoming a part of my Totem collection. Whenever I wear these things, I feel better, more put together.

Similarly, on the day of an important meeting with an old boss, I ran out to Goodwill to find a blazer. It made me look sharp, and I felt more powerful and relaxed during my meeting.

Can you think of an item that helps you channel your inner Hero? If you can, try to incorporate it into your Hero Look. It’ll be twice as powerful if you do.

What is the Perfect Hero Look?

In reality, a perfect Hero Look is something that makes you feel comfortable and invincible. It is a look that is so integrated with your values, lifestyle, and aesthetic, that you often forget you’re even wearing it.

Your Hero Look can be a Totem, or it can be a whole outfit that works together. Dress it up, or dress it down, this look is yours, and baby you rock it.

Final Thoughts on Hero Looks

Creating a Hero Look is a skill, one that you can practice so that eventually this stuff becomes second nature. Hell, you can even create an entire wardrobe with this skill if you wanted. I’m partial to a capsule wardrobe for cost and ease, but my babes if you have the means and space for a full-on walk-in closet room, You Do You.

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